Enoch, AB - The Edmonton Pylons battled snow, hangovers, and fruit flies, and came away from this weekend's games with a tie and a win. They currently sit atop the Rec A standings.
There is little need to dwell on Saturday's mismatch versus the Gladiators – suffice it to say that the game ended in a tie, but the Pylons, with a full bench, should have been the easy winners. The team was hampered by Lorilocks, who forgot her gloves, and had trouble finding a perfect fit – these ones are too big, these ones are too small, these ones are just right! Turns out Coach Cranky is a numbers' guy; he scribbled furiously in his notebook and reported the team's progress, or lack thereof, after each period. In the meantime, Coach Scarfy played good cop and suggested baby-steps, and the game ended with a very strong final two minutes during which the team were finally able to tell the difference between Willy and Snowdon. Somebody should get those girls proper orange jerseys. Just sayin'.
The line-up changed slightly Sunday with the loss of Doyle and Santarossa who chose to play for a different team – in the literal, not biblical, sense, don't get me wrong. Coach Not-So-Cranky, recognizing his oversight from the previous game, reminded his players of the three Ps – peeing, pushing cars, and pannies. Or pressure, passing, and patience – it depends on where you were sitting.
The Pylons scored early to take the lead, and the play rarely left the Ice Hawks' zone. However, what should have been another easy win for the Pylons turned out to be much more challenging. Despite hundreds (upon HUNDREDS) of shots, the Pylons could not get another puck past the Hawks' goalie. The job was complicated by the entire Ice Hawks team who would collapse like a Chilean mine around their net.
However, the Pylons' coaches wisely called a time out with about two minutes left in the game. The first line was sent out, with Murray, Willy, and Sadoway at forward, and Basnett and Ross on defence. Meanwhile, the second line – Fuller, plus whoever was standing closest to her – seethed with jealously and resentment and waited for a chance at redemption. The chosen ones dominated the play but could not capitalize, so with 19 seconds left, Fuller, Woywitka, and Anaka14 took to the ice. Smith and Anaka18 again sat down on the bench and were not at all relieved about it, if that's what you're thinking. Woywitka won the face-off, Rivalin kept it in somehow, and Fuller scored the game-winner but I'm not sure how because I was still sitting down drawing up plays with Smith. and Woywitka hugged and then everyone hugged.
The game had its highs and its lows. Both Pylons' goals originated from the blueline. Ross made the shot that resulted in the first goal, and Rivalin did the same for the winning goal. The shot count was up, giveaways were down, and no gear had to be exchanged on the bench. Coach Scarfy looked as debonair as ever, and Coach Not-So-Cranky was observed smiling and one player reported hearing him laugh. It was also suggested he get a night nanny once in a while, which we do not believe to be a euphemism for what you're thinking it is. Murray was also seen to be following the night nanny talk. There were cookies, beer, and no one got stuck in the parking lot, but no one is sure if Ross actually left the arena.
On the other hand, the fruit flies had mated unabashedly through the night. Smith was a little bit like Bambi, on ice, and was taken down when a bullet from Basnett hit her skate. A number of players hit posts instead of twine. Sadoway was unable to score in front of the hooligans who cheered her on from the stands. The Pylons were also distraught over the fact that Todd had decided to leave the team to pursue her new-found passion for cab driving.
Next game is Friday, January 14 at 9:15pm versus the Ice Gonads, and Rivalin is on deck for score-keeping duties. Until then, the team has arranged to have "Meals on Wheels" delivered to Annala.
In other news, the Pylons are trying to arrange a practice. We also hope to see you Thursday at Devaney's (link below) for Drinks with Doyle. Get there early if you want to have a coherent conversation with Anaka18 or Anaka14, unless you speak fluent Anakanese.
Devaney's Irish Pub, 9013 88 Avenue Northwest, Edmonton, AB
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