Back to Basics this Friday November 12

Edmonton, AB - The Pylons return to the ice this Friday following a long layoff. They suffered their first loss of the season on Saturday, October 30, falling 4-1 to the Avalanche.

Apparently, it wasn't pretty. Rolph refused to play, and then couldn't bear to watch. She left the stands, covering her child's eyes, long before the final buzzer.

And it didn't smell pretty, either. Todd smelled faintly of Bombay Breeze. And owing to a grocery mishap, Smith and the Anakas smelled like feta. (Don't ask.)

Pylon veterans were more philosophical about the loss, being much more used to losing than they were to winning. However, there is no doubt that the team's earlier success left an impact. The newer Pylons were relieved to see that cookies were still distributed, but there was little question that losing cookies weren't near as sweet.

And speaking of losing cookies, it was also clear that Rivalin had yet to recover from the previous week's three-hour late-night trip through Edmonton, with a side trip, on foot, into the ditch off the Whitemud. Ross had yet to recover from, well, being Ross, although with a goal and a penalty she is clearly in the running for the next tournament MVP, regardless of whether or not the Pylons play a game.

The Pylons also seemed to suffer from a lack of focus on many levels. Anaka Jr, still refusing to wear contacts, repeatedly confused Ross with Todd, and Basnett or Annala with Sadoway, who was out of the country. You might think that a player who has been so often mistaken for another would be more circumspect. You'd be wrong. It was also noted that Basnett seemed distracted during the game; word was that the arrival of her sister, who is not exactly baby-sitter material, was imminent.

The game was important to Coach Wachter, who most certainly realized he may never stand on a Pylons bench feeling quite as rested as he was at that very moment. He was still heard to be favouring the name Pylonia Woywitka, however.

There were positives. Murray's secretary Turnell made sure Murray got to the game, despite Turnell's protests about her ineffectiveness in that role. P-LO kept it close, and Santarossa kept her point streak alive. And some creative line-juggling netted the Pylons a goal.

The team spent the two weeks between games reflecting on their first loss, and gradually began to look forward to the rematch, scheduled for November 27. Or at least, the party following the rematch. Did someone say tequila?

The Pylons will see you on the ice Friday night at Enoch, where they face the Kryptonite. They will remember the basics. The basics are the basics, and that's why they are the basics.

Pylons update and reminder -- game SUNDAY 7:45pm at ENOCH

Hi Pylons, here's the latest:

1. We ordered a few new jerseys but they won't be in until October 21. So, continue to bring a black jersey if you have one. I won't be playing the next two games (although I'll attend on Sunday), so #18 is up for grabs. After a quick look at last game's scoresheet, I think Suzanne should wear it (5 points) or Carly (3 points) since Kelly (4 points) and Sheen (3 points) already have jerseys.
2. If you come across an orange jersey of any kind, pack that as well. (I'll see what I can find in the meantime for orange ones, in case the other team has only black jerseys.)
3. Fees this year will be $400. Each home game costs us $415. This should give us a few extra dollars for practices and jerseys and other incidentals, but likely won't cover the cost of a tournament. You can bring a cheque made out to "Edmonton Pylons" to the next game, and cash is good too. You can pay in installments if you'd like.
4. Do you want to go to a tournament? Sometimes, we have fun (always). Sometimes, we win (once). Position of "Chief Tournament Officer" is up for grabs with Betty's departure to Calgary. (Mmmmm, much beer and many cookies.)
5. We are gathering gift baskets, toiletries, feminine products (including unused hotel shampoos, conditioners, soaps etc.) to donate to Edmonton womens' shelters. If you have any of these items to give away, bring them to the game. I will be collecting these items until the end of October. Thanks for your support!

See you Sunday.

#18

Chief Financial Officer
Edmonton Pylons

Heads Swivel at Tipton Try-Outs

Tipton Arena, EDMONTON -- If you wanted to see heads on a swivel, you should have been at Tipton Arena last night, where Christmas came early for the Edmonton Pylons and their disbelieving and dedicated coaches. A host of new recruits from the world of ringette joined the Pylons at their rare pre-season practice, and coaches Wachter and Clive could barely contain their glee as the new girls skated without waving their arms around for balance, and shot pucks without falling down.

Coach Wachter was typically patient and did his best to educate the new recruits, getting right down on the ice to ensure that the blue line was not in fact a speed bump or a raised impediment of any kind. He also encouraged them to shoot and skate as much as they'd like at all times every game very often please please please shoot the damn puck.

Meanwhile, following the warm-up and shooting horseshoe, current Pylons wondered if they were being punked, and huddled in small groups to wonder whether it was possible that these girls wanted to play Pylon hockey. The sole exception was goaltender P-Lo, who was seeking counselling from Coach Clive to address her recently-acquired shell-shock.

Founding mother and perennial team captain Sheenagh Woywitka was at her captainy best, surreptitiously juggling lines, remembering names and scoring the shootout winner to ensure her clearly superior team did not have to complete 2 hard laps.

Kelly Santarossa was also seen eyeing up the new recruits, as she had been hoping to replace past manager Aimie Doyle as the team's penalty-minute leader. She was dismayed to hear that Doyle would be returning to play some games in January, fearing that pesky #9 could make up any deficit faster than Santarossa could find brand new CooperAlls ®.

The mood in the dressing room following the practice was positive. Cookies were shared, the lack of beer mourned, and while the Pylons' coaches were absolutely giddy at the thought of having endless line options – or at having options at all – the newly amassed teammates were busy sharing worm stories and considering the possibility of a bright future on the boat-race circuit. Among those who couldn’t be happier were Kate Smith, who passed on the water bottles and pucks to the new recruits. Current Pylons seconded Smith's enthusiasm - they had never been able to develop a taste for Aussie water. "It just kept going down the wrong way, mate" said veteran defenceman Lynne Stephenson.

CEO and founding mother Lori Anaka was relieved at the turnout, to say the least, having visualized 36 new players, after 4 different women told her they would be bringing 8 players to the team's try-outs. Team cutie-pie Stacy Rivalin, sporting sassy new bangs, was just happy to have try-outs, observing, "normally it's just us 'try-hards' and they seem really nice and do you really like my new bangs?"

Team CFO and founding mother Leah Anaka also expressed her approval with the new team members, observing, "… we always thought those kinds of girls who could skate and shoot would be total bitches. Seems we were wrong. [Team all-star] Heather Murray isn't here, right? Don't tell her I said that!"

The Pylons' immediate plans are scaring the shit out of the Fur Traders this coming Monday, filling the beer cooler, and signing Baby Wachter up for ringette. Long-term goals include badgering the new girls to find sponsors so the Pylons can replace their orange, 12-year-old practice jerseys, as a special favour for Coach Clive.